Living in America: a Guide for the Perplexed Chapter 2
Sure, it's the greatest country in the world and all that, but it's not all fun and handguns. Don't forget: we are a country at war. Our estimable former CEO =Dick= Nixon declared the war on drugs over 30 years ago and it's still going strong. In fact, murder rates are finally up to the levels we enjoyed during the halcyon days of prohibition, and we are now incarcerating prisoners of war at a rate unmatched in human history. It's been going on so long that some crazy liberals, like William F. Buckley and former Secretary of State George Schultz, have suggested we just call the damn thing off. But by God, we're not just gonna lie down and let these filthy bastards roll over us. We're gonna fight, and fight, and then fight some more, until every American is secure in a world where we only abuse three nonprescription drugs. Uh, and cough syrup, occasionally. And gasoline, glue, and solvents. And sugar. Actually, let me get back to you on this one.
oh nostalgia. For a little while there we were only at war with drugs. The last time I revised this essay was May 2000
klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.
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