reconstruction is reclamation

It takes a great deal more than faith to throw yourself at the mercy of circumstances. It takes a steely eye and a great deal of patience. Yet this is the only way to resolve the essential conflict where the mechanism that seems to generate original awareness of purpose and meaning is totally vulnerable to seemingly meaningless annihilation. If you catch mt drift.

So that's an explanation if you need one. Because it's how the world is, chaotic and sometimes senseless as hell, and yet containing a fearsome aspect not only of consistency but of alarming aesthetic purity, even in its most gratuitous deconstructions.

All the con artists offer the solution that works next week, the big score that comes at the end of the year, just wait until your name gets to the top of the list and then watch the money start rolling. But that's no solution the thread holding the sword aloft is fraying before your very eyes. From very early on I knew that the Solution had to work right away, immediately and unambiguously. Because of circumstances, you see. Because of the terrible circumstances that wait for us all.

Step one is not fooling yourself about the shape you're in. Even if you've got AIDS and a bad cocaine habit, that's nothing compared to your long term prospects. Death is sniffing at your shoes every minute, every day. With every instant another is taken. All sucumb, none appeal, in the final end. So if it seems that a person cheated or bested death, we can assume that our perceptions are mistaken, or at best that it is very much a temporary victory. If your belief system, why you do what you do, does not bear up under the possibility of your being smashed to bits any moment then your belief system is worthless.

On the other side of the con man's slick promises is a world without assurances. It's here where I live now, Visionary, Genius, doomed Poet Laureate for the mad and the dead. There are no accurate predictions and no unambiguous rewards. But there is a Solution, of sorts, in this world. When we choose to live a life of intellectual integrity and principle despite a world where meaning disperses along with order in the face of entropy and inertia, we raise ourselves from the level of mere matter and discover that there is a seperate Law governing the consequences of our unchained wills. This is the Solution of the Present.

klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.