9:16 pm. So it goes, so it goes, so it goes. Dark hour, nothing but memories, the weight of memories. An empty moment. Poised, as I have been, waiting for that change that doesn't come. Reading bits of this and that, killing time between cigarettes, on my way from nothing to nothing. So it goes. So it goes. So it goes. So it goes.
One shade darker. I wouldn't care if morning never came. The urge to tear all these poor constructions down is neatly balanced by fear, apathy, and inertia, my enemies from always. There's only one of me. I try.
...
The terrible realization that what I'm feeling is nothing more than the wanderlust of high school, with a different set of restrictions and a lack of faith in there being a better place to go.
The awful realization that the only thing I can pleasantly fantasize about any more is quitting and going away, and the realization that this is truly beyond my capabilities.
God, I haven't addressed you directly in a while. It's a sham, it's a dodge, that cup of suffering is never empty, is it. The bottomless cup, a very nice trick, yes.
And you didn't tell me. Didn't clue me in. Let me go ahead and take it.
If you won't save me nothing will. I'll go on, but by god, I'm done.
I'm done. Goddammit. I have taken enough.
klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.
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