things lost

There are a lot of sad (or so they seem to me) facts in this sorry universe and most certainly one of them is the fact that I have already forgotten more thoughts than I will ever ever write don in my lifetime. Once upon a time I took a heroic helping of brown rice catastrophically contaminated with a certain fungus and had an extreme and confusing vision of just exactly how hard it was to communicate with only words. Such a tiny data stream to describe the contents and movement of such a large one! And the written word is worse in some ways, although it unquestionably has its advantages. It is too static, it lacks the immediacy and nuance of the spoke word.

So this is such a tiny fragment of a large, strange, often annoying, always engrossing train of thoughts stretching easily over a decade, from high school through college to the absurd theater of my so called real life. The ideas are gone, I've simply forgotten them. They are nowhere now. But are they? This one can keeps me up at night. Is only the effect left now? Is the moment itself somehow preserved, if only in the implicit knowledge the universe carries of its absolute constituency? Is there indeed an eschaton? Could my incredible assertion that nothing of value is ever truly lost be somehow crazily true? Think about it next time you think and ponder the value of your thoughts.

klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.