“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer”
Frank Herbert, Dune
Since it will cause some people will cease to take anything I have to say seriously, and others will make many assumptions about my beliefs that are untrue, it is appropriate to note that I am a devout Christian. Sunday being the day most Christian choose to set aside particularly for worship (though it is a little recognized fact that there is nothing in any version of the bible to suggest that the Sabbath, the Law-ordained day of rest, continues to be honored on Saturday), I will indulge myself in a sermon. I can’t help it; it’s in my blood.
I was going to go into a long tirade about the way we are manipulated in this world by the notion of Sides. I was going to attack the idea of there actually being Sides at all, in this human society, rather than the single reality of the continual evolution of the collective agency of our wills. I was going to deftly expose the galaxy of contradictions in intention and action we cater to whenever we allow the illusion of Sides, rather than sober and rational meditation informed by absolute intellectual honesty and strict adherence to our chosen ethical commitments, guide our decisions as citizens of the world. I was going to expound on how the view from the middle of this field of illusions is not some mushy compromise between the two opposing sides of whatever conflict, but rather a dynamic, confusing, complex but vastly more genuine, hopeful, and fruitful territory where the Sides are exposed for what they are: poisonous traps of illogic, dogma, jingo rhetoric and hysterical reasoning that serve many masters but have only one use. As a gun is made to kill, the Sides are made to manipulate a source of power, the collective agency of our wills. Not all who promote or promulgate them, no not even all who manipulate and benefit from them (if you call the acquisition of this kind of power a benefit, which I don’t) see or understand this truth about the sides.
But what the hell, the fact is I’d’ve been preaching to the choir. Some people are ready to take total responsibility for the consequences of their active will and some are not. Of course, I may still be preaching to the choir, but if so rather than reinforcing some viewpoint about the nature of conflict (and in the end that mere viewpoint is just another side, though the truth that informs it is not), I will instead offer some advice on how best to join the sideless struggle against the Sides and what they represent.
It is worth noting that when individuals in the Gospel stories are visited by the emmisaries of God, the angels’ message is usually predicated by the statement “Fear not.” It’s worth noting because when the emmisaries of the sides try to get our attention, their message is almost alway predicated by the sentiment “Fear!”
Who you pay attention to will first and foremost define how easy you are to manipulate. Now of course I realize that many people do not believe in God or angels. Regardless, to anyone who cares to listen I say: if you are afraid of dying then you must be always afraid because your death is inevitable. If you are afraid of pain then you must be always afraid of pain because pain is inevitable. I imagine it is horrifying to die burned alive trapped for an unimaginable hour under a piece of flaming wreckage in a collapsing office building. But try dying of cancer for three years.
Certain examples of pain and death grasp our imaginations and plunge us into fear because they force the reality of pain, the reality of death down our throats by their sheer extremity. And we are hooked on this jolt of fear, which is why we fill our stories with serial killers and natural disasters and horrors of every kind. But if it takes a catastrophic event to create this fear in the first place, it can only mean that we have not truly grasped the universality of pain nor the inevitability of death. As an ethical system (which is an important but not the central way in which I relate to my beliefs), Christianity has taught me that it is in the presence of pain and death that we are able to transcend fear and experience truth. When someone is telling you to be afraid, they are seeking to manipulate you. In the Gospel stories angels say “be not afraid” because they are creating a connection with God, which is the apprehension of truth.
In the perpetual struggle against the pull of the Sides I try to be aware of how much of the desire I have to succumb is fueled by fear. To overcome fear is a greater and more difficult task but this realization is the first step.
A note about the songs: between April of 1998 and January of 2001 I committed myself to write a daily lyric. The result of this project was 1001 songs of which these are some.
Dog of War
The dog of war
runs in this world
it will not stop: it won’t stand still
It makes the rounds: it never sleeps
it counts the clock: the time it keeps
is
Carthage: Persia: Laos: Troy
Hiroshima: watch out: Big Boy
London: Boston: Kosovo
the dog of war finds someplace to go
What are we seeking to conquer?
What are we seeking to gain?
can anybody still believe
the outcome could erase the stain
of
Dresden: Paris: Rome: Afghanistan
Babylon: Saigon and Pakistan
The dog of war gnaws at its bone
and if it seems a shame to you you’re not alone.
written 9-19-99
this is what is up with this.
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