Saturday, February 25, 2006

nail gun rhapsody

Living in America: a Guide for the Perplexed Chapter 15

Well, if you work enough, really work and work and work, you do get one little benefit that your boss doesn't want you to think about: Unemployment Compensation. Now, there's only two ways about this, you gotta either get fired or get hurt. Getting hurt is less ambiguous, as how hard you're gonna have to work (oh, baby, you always gotta work) for this money depends on whether you get fired for reasons of merit or not. But don't let 'em tell you you can't get unemployment for being canned for being a shit ass goldbricker. That's a myth. But anyway, if what you really want is a vacation from your job rather than to absent yourself entirely, yes, that would be the workman's pal, workman's comp. Oh, you've thought of it. The nail gun poised over the hand... on squeeze... and pain, yes, but soon you'll be tended to, given drugs and a place to lie down.

Of course, once you get into the official unemployment machine, the fun's over. You have to deal with a lotta punks in this system if you want the state to write you a check. So, it's a partial solution at best, unlike the scandalous multi-credit card cash advance swindle. Which is even legal... up to the point you fail to return from Grand Cayman.

klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.

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