Monday, February 27, 2006

teletation for the masses

Oh Gawd! After a numbing day that started with some strident and irritating noise yanking you rudely into consciousness and continued into a zombie monotony of irritating tasks broken only by the hasty consumption of state-approved stimulants and horrible garbage that can only be labeled food by the decree of a corrupt government, chances are when you've managed to drag your stunned and abused corpus back to the relative sanity of home you aren't up to a helluva lot more than flopping down in front of the magic box and hypnotizing yourself into a state of vague indifference through a massive infusion of brightly colored gavotting smears.

Take heart! In the spirit of the belief that there is no wasted time, the Realitation Institute humbly presents you with the Teletation Program, a cunning course of Transformative Viewing Encounters (T-VEs) designed to jerk you back into fully rectified focal awareness. This ain't yer mama's cable, no-siree!

Whether you consume a fat stream of digital content baffled through the latest hi-tech instruments or tune a heavily ghosted signal through a battered set of rabbit ears the Teletation Program allows you to turn the TeeVee Pardigm on its head, creating a feedback awareness of such staggering proportions that many adherents swear that the most abysmal regurgitation of celebrity tripe goes down like their very first Saturday morning cartoon!

The ugly servants of commerce labored mightily to illegalize the secrets of commercial transfiguration whereby the sullen power of advertisements is completely emasculated! Thrill to the explanation of the secret connection between enormous truck-things and bad tacos! Watch in wonder as the mind-boggling antitelevisiual opus =It's Rome, Baby!= (conveniently provided in your preferred video format) forever transforms your experience of the idiot box! Turn your television into Intell-I-Vision!

Can it be possible that the complete reformation of the non-stop shit storm you pay and arm and a leg for every year is available for less then it costs you to take your sweetie to the wretched abortion of the silver screen that fat bastard had the audacity to describe as a =non-stop thrill ride?= Not only is it possible - it is!

klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.

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