North by Northwest Airlines announced today that it had filed for Chapter 11, days after missing payment on several outstanding financial commitments. NbN also announced that it was closing its doors for extensive restructuring, and was consequently suspending all remaining routes for its assassination flyover service.
NbN flights generally involved mistaken identity, espionage, a beautiful but distant blonde and a lonely, dusty field somewhere far from any chance of help or even notice, and were plagued with scheduling delays.
In addition, a senior NbN engineer reported in a leaked internal memo, flyovers that did arrive on schedule had an extremely low rate of success in making a "terminal connection" with their target individual - "primarily," he writes, "because nearly any healthy person can escape pursuit by running into the corn."
In a recent statement North by Northwest indicated it was losing market share to budget carriers such as Value Whack.
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1 comment:
Our heroine is not, as you have mistakenly reported, a beautiful but distant blonde - but rather, a clever, breathtaking REDHEAD who had parts of her soul slowly sucked out of her during a 5 year stint with North by Northwest Airlines. You of all people should know that . . . . . .
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