two weird political snippets from the bin

Government Offers Citizens New Enfranchisement Option: Register to Not Vote

Citing a near fifty percent citizen preference to not vote in major elections, the Government is now offering this popular option as an official voter registration status. Votes not tendered by citizens registered to not vote will be added post-election to the totals for winning candidates.

In addition to creating decisive majorities for elected candidates, the Senior Bureaucrat noted, “which will give our nation a new and deeply needed sense of popular solidarity behind the Party-nominated candidates selected to lead us by the 20-30 percent of voting eligible citizens who pick a winner in a given election, those registered as nonvoters may assert with technical accuracy that they did in fact participate in recent elections that they may want to talk a lot of smack about in, say, an online forum. It is as usual Government providing citizen empowerment at its finest. Nonvoters are now part of the rich fabric and history of our Electoral Process. The “whatever” party deserves to finally be given its voice. They also serve who only sit and bitch,” the Senior Bureaucrat stated, looking uncommonly sage and introspective.

Howard Dean Sounds His Barbaric Yawp to the World

Upon taking the podium Howard Dean immediately launched into what spectators described as a “bone-rattling, blood-chilling” scream. The noises emitted by Dr. Dean during the course of his 147-second ululation ran a gamut andwere variously characterized as “howling,” “gargling,” “mewling,” “keening,” and “just balls out roaring.” Dr. Dean uttered his preamble with head tilted back, eyes tightly shut, and clenched fists raised defiantly above his head, and with an expression of savage joy that prompted one reporter in attendance to observe that he “had never seen a man who looked so free.”

The last peal of Dean’s scream expired in a roar of feedback as Dr. Dean slowly lowered his arms and opened his eyes. He then quietly announced that he would be running for president for the second time in 2008.

this is what is up with this.