Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Jude Law: Nude Law

Embattled celebrity Jude Law is reportedly negotiating a lucrative premium cable series deal to lead in a proposed legal drama, Nude Law. Law would play Nigel Lawson, an ambition-driven corporate lawyer who comes from a family of dedicated nudists. Law's character will struggle with the conflicts between his career and the Bohemian lifestyle of his parents and siblings, says executive producer Paul "Specky" Speck.

The producer added, "think of him as Alex from Family Ties grown up, if the Keatons were nudists. And Alex was gay." Tina Yothers was unavailable for comment.

While the majority of scenes occurring in nudist settings will be handled with what writers call "playful visual innuendo," featuring no ratable nudity, fully nude extras will appear in each episode "for artistic composition and realism befitting a serious legal and social drama," (according to a network statement), and rumors hint that the regular full or partial display of Mr. Law's naked buttocks is being negotiated in his current proposed contract. Sources suggest that the current point of intense negotiation is whether Law will be compensated for these scenes on an per-episode or per-buttock basis.

In related news, tentative progress with ex-fiancee Sienna Miller was said to have suffered grave setbacks when the actress reportedly heard Law (apparently unconsciously) singing pseudo-sexist rock anthem satire "Big Bottoms" by fictional rock group Spinal Tap in the shower.

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