go hold down that dog while I fuck that pig

Speaking of Dog Fuckers...

I kind of like the old internet. Internet teevee is coming faster than anyone realizes, a horrible thing to contemplate. We're talking about twentyfour hour, totally self determined (sort of) access here. You wanna watch seventyfive straight hours of star treck reruns, well by god you will. I fully expect to see round the clock death sports in thirty years: this culture is on the skids, greased by the infernal pap of the magic box, and there just ain't no way we'll have the resistance to overcome the apotheosis of television refracted through the lens of the microcomputer.

And I suppose this nifty little kludgemachine, the internet, invented and constructed largely by crazy visionary malcontents like myself, will fall by the wayside with the advent of a truly commercialized network. The Network, no doubt, an unholy alliance of the mediaopolizers, with good ol' disney leading the rapacious pack.

And there won't be anymore crazy text side alleys, like the archive I stumbled accross the other day and came across a detailed manual on dog-fucking. Now, I'm sure this is all very evil and wrong, but I confess a soft spot in my heart for the demented intelligence that produced that bizzarity. What struck me most is that this person was not wasting any time apologizing or justifying or trying to dredge up examples of really super nutty behaviour as an excuse for dog fucking. Quite the opposite. The author positively advocated fucking your dog, he really insisted on it. He immediately put the nay-sayer on the defensive, insisting that non-fucking dog owners were denying their pets the sexual release their natures demanded. He was quite vehement. This is not to say that I am an advocate of dog fucking or that I really have any interest in it. His argument was passionate, but it failed to convince. Me, anyway. But only on the old internet, you know? In a lifetime of paying singular attention to the various emergences of text in my world, from breakfast cereal boxes to library books to pamphlets I've found on the street, I never in hell came across anything quite like that. It goes without saying that on disnetwork inkorp, this sort of thing just simply won't be allowed.

klik if you demand tedious explanations of every little thing.